what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
