So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
