On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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