I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
