I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
