I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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