I'd wear matching sweaters with you
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
