When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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