Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
