We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
