butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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