Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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