just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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