Welp...herpes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize