we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
