that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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