Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
