I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
