Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
