like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
