Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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