And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
