i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
