so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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