i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
