it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
