now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
