I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
