Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
