We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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