I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize