I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
