update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
