I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize