I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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