whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
