Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize