Yo dont text me then not text me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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