Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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