so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We got so high we made milksteak
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize