Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
