Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
