after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
