I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize