I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
