Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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