Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
