Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
