At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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