I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
