Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
