Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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