She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
