need another drink. this is the easiest way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
