I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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