I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
