we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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