Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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