On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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