tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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