where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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