the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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