some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
