We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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