around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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