why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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