as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
