YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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