My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
