I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
