I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
