shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
