I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
