what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize